In 1938, the Harvard Grant Study (now part of the Study of Adult Development), recruited 268 male Harvard students and 456 controls from Boston. Around 59 of them, mostly in their nineties, are still in the study, and researchers are studying their children and grandchildren. Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who now leads the study, summarized, after this 75 year study: good relationships keep us happy and healthier, social connections are really good for us and loneliness kills. People who are connected to family, to friends and community, are happier, healthier and they live longer.
The Beatles were right, ‘All You Need Is Love’ and another important pillar of happiness is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away. A person could have a successful career, money and good physical health, but without supportive, loving relationships, they won’t be happy. Parental class, IQ and income did not predict longevity and happiness. The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people. Of course, if you are a Muslim, relationships with Allah should come first.
This book summarises 3 factors that determine how well we age. The first is childhood experiences, in particular parental attachment and history of head injury. The second is exercise in varied and natural environments in order to retain mental vitality in later life. The third most important factor is social interaction in terms of having romantic relationships with spouse and serving community with a purpose either in volunteer work or doing meaningful job in society. I believe this book would be more beneficial to the younger generation.
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